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Tap to tip a busker? I’d sooner sue the lot of ’em | David Mitchell

Street performers and contactless payments – two of my least favourite things – are now in unholy alliance at Edinburgh fringe

The fact that buskers and street performers at this year’s Edinburgh fringe are accepting contactless payments will have raised a few smiles. In just the same way the performers’ pavement-blocking antics inexplicably seem to. “Oh look, how marvellous – he’s swallowing fire and he needs a haircut! Let’s go and stand around that for a bit. Oh great! I mean, it’s a bit repetitive but, in my mind’s eye, I’m watching us watch this and it’s exactly how I imagined the weekend. Pity about the overpowering smell of paraffin.”

Once you hit middle age, you might as well be honest about what you dislike – unless you’re running a political party, in which case it can be more prudent to keep it to yourself. Intellectually, I know that buskers probably possess the same average level of niceness as the wider population, but if I got chatting to one and they actually seemed nice, I would be doubly charmed because of my prejudice that they were going to be a twat. That would show me, wouldn’t it?! Well, I’m not worried – I bet they’re all twats.

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